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Thursday Thirteen #6

By Jerry ⋅ May 30, 2007 ⋅ Email This Post Email This Post ⋅ Print This Post Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment
Thirteen Lessons I’ve Learned in the Kitchen

  1. Sharp objects deserve your respect. Failing to give them that respect will generally result in adding to your first aid bill.
  2. A watched pot never boils. It waits until you turn around, then boils over, causing a great deal of cleanup and possibly adding further to your first aid bill.
  3. Oil and water don’t mix. Attempting to add Italian dressing to any form of soup is going to render something completely different than what you were hoping for.
  4. The best looking meals don’t always taste the best. Beans an’ hocks ain’t pretty. Collards ain’t pretty, But oh, they’re good!
  5. Saving money by buying cheap kitchen equipment isn’t worth throwing out badly prepared food. Anyone remember that $5.00 nonstick skillet? You know, the one that burned everything that was ever cooked in it. How ’bout the spatula that fell apart when you tried to flip something, or the “oven proof” whatever bought at the bargain store that burst into flames in a good hot oven… ‘Nuff Said.
  6. Oil and roux mix quite well, thank you. Still want that Italian dressing? Add it to a stew and it’ll blend right in. (Hey, I’ve tried all kinds of things!)
  7. Overcooked shrimp cannot be saved. Just give up, go gnaw on a pencil eraser, you’ll get more pleasure from it. It’s easier on your jaw muscles and it will taste better.
  8. Copious amounts of alcohol and cooking do not mix. Your mileage may vary on this point, but in my house it means burnt dinners and underdone baked goods. (Yep, there’s a personal story here!)
  9. Never assume you know another person’s stove or oven. The fastest way to look like a complete incompetent is to try to make something“just like you do at home” in someone else’s kitchen. Their stove is not your stove, keep an eye on it at all times, and watch your wine intake! (see #8)
  10. Always add wine and liquor to a pan off the heat. Ummm. Yeah, it makes this really big “WHOOOOOSH!” sound just before you go to the emergency room if you forget.
  11. A sauté cannot be rushed. Turning up the heat does not speed up the process, it burns things. Likewise, your food will tell you when it’s time to be turned, if it doesn’t move when you shake the skillet, it’s not ready, leave it alone. If it’s burning, turn the heat back a bit, you’ve got it too high!
  12. It’s OK to add more oil or butter. O.K., I know the recipe called for exactly two tablespoons, but if you don’t see any more in the bottom of the skillet, add more! Your food was thirsty and drank it all up, now it’s getting ready to show you the meaning of “stuck like glue”.
  13. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. Cooking should never be high stress. Go ahead and shout “BAM!” when you season something. Turn up the music and dance while you’re cooking. Talk, laugh, enjoy, sing! To quote Pasquale Carpino “If I sing when I cook, the food is going to be happy.”

Eat, drink and be merry!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

  • Leave your comments and you’ll automagically add you to the “Thank you” list. Thanks to Nancy for pointing out the plugin to me!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Discussion

38 comments for “Thursday Thirteen #6”

  1. Posted by Courtney | May 30, 2007, 5:08 pm

    I agree with you on every single one of these. My MIL never sharpens her knives and washes them in the dish washer, then brags that her knives are so sharp they’ll take your finger off. I keep wanting to tell her that her dull knives are dangerous, that’s why they’ll take your finger off. Great list, and great reminders.

  2. Posted by Chelle Y. | May 30, 2007, 5:37 pm

    That is why I stay out of the kitchen! :)

    http://www.chelleyoung.com/index.php/archive/thursday-thirteen-62-thirteen-favorite-inspirational-movies/

  3. Posted by Friday's Child | May 30, 2007, 6:10 pm

    I agree with all your lists 100%. Thanks for sharing them.
    My T13 is up too.

  4. Posted by Cordia Amant | May 30, 2007, 6:14 pm

    Those are some great lessons, some of which took me years to learn. Cooking is definitely a skill that comes through trial and error, with an emphasis on the error part.

  5. Posted by Nancy | May 30, 2007, 6:15 pm

    LOL! YOu should mention the grill. I burned my finger BBQing the chicken and I was not even drinking wine.

    I so agree w. the stove info!

    Have a great Thursday.

  6. Posted by PJ | May 30, 2007, 6:48 pm

    I also stay out of the kitchen and let the experts get on with it!

  7. Posted by Janet | May 30, 2007, 7:11 pm

    #12 cracked me up :-)

  8. Posted by Ctina | May 30, 2007, 7:20 pm

    I really apprecaite #1 and 10…from personal experience :) Happy TT!

  9. Posted by elementaryhistoryteacher | May 30, 2007, 7:52 pm

    Great list! How about this one….anything with “light” on the package will taste like s….!

  10. Posted by Susan Helene Gottfried | May 30, 2007, 8:00 pm

    Ain’t that the truth about cheap cookware.

    Speaking of which, the All-Clad seconds sale is next weekend. Need anything? I’ve got my list ready!

  11. Posted by dew | May 30, 2007, 8:02 pm

    Mmmmm collards! I loved this list. I’ve learned quite a few of these things myself. Dumbest first aid cooking fiasco ever? I baked a pumpkin. With no cooking sheet under it. And butter inside it. Left it in too long. Took it out with potholders that exposed my wrist. Second degree burns!

  12. Posted by Margaret | May 30, 2007, 8:04 pm

    Ahh, the things we learn from our kitchens. I say this, mind you as I stare at these dinner dishes that still.. to this day won’t ever get washed all by themselves. =O(

  13. Posted by neil | May 30, 2007, 8:20 pm

    You’re dead right on number 5. I bought my first and only real chef’s knives about thirty years ago and they’re still going strong to this day.

  14. Posted by Journeywoman | May 30, 2007, 9:08 pm

    I love #4 and couldn’t agree more on #12 and 13.

    Happy TT.

  15. Posted by christieo | May 30, 2007, 9:20 pm

    i absolutely love your list! and you’re so right about sautee, i’ve learned the same thing about cooking a white sauce, turning up the heat does not make it thicken quicker! haha! happy tt! and happy cooking!

  16. Posted by Di | May 30, 2007, 9:26 pm

    You make cooking sound so much more fun than it is!!! Actually, I can make cooking fun, but making the day-to-day stuff that my family thrives on bores me to tears! And I have some friends who cook better drunk…but I think they are the exceptions!

  17. Posted by sasha | May 30, 2007, 9:33 pm

    Good list of things you learned in the kitchen, Jerry! The 13th is true :)

    Happy TT! This is my very first one and I am late in posting. It’s up now :)

  18. Posted by Pussreboots | May 30, 2007, 9:56 pm

    I never drink and cook at the same time but that’s probably because I’m usually cooking with help from my 4 year old! Happy TT.

  19. Posted by tommiea | May 30, 2007, 10:36 pm

    I have to admit I am a pots and pan snob….as well as a knife snob….

    Yikes, I just realized I am a kitchen snob…..dude, get out of my kitchen….or I would be saying, “Dude, how does she cook in this kitchen?”

    just found out I say “dude” alot…..

    great list….my third one just consists of what I need to do in the next two days!

  20. Posted by Frances | May 30, 2007, 11:07 pm

    Oh yes I have seen what damage those dreadful $5 pans can do.
    And those watched pots have pulled more than one sneaky move on me as soon as I turned my head.
    Thanks for sharing,
    Frances

  21. Posted by Mama's Moon | May 31, 2007, 12:38 am

    All good things to know and remember - thanks for sharing the tips. This spot looks like a lot of fun. Gonna have to come back real soon to see what else you’ve got up your sleeve…

  22. Posted by beth | May 31, 2007, 1:08 am

    Great list - very enjoyable. One of my favorite memories is a day spent with my family and a very dear friend’s family cooking a meal. Yes, we spent the day preparing the meal. The meal late in the evening was the culmination of a wonderful day of all of us cooking and enjoying the preparation of one of the best meals I’ve ever had. It was shortly before the unexpected death of that friend.

  23. Posted by Raggedy | May 31, 2007, 1:52 am

    Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    I enjoyed every morsel of your Thirteen!
    Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
    My TT is posted.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Happy TT’ing!
    *^_^
    (=’:'=)
    (”)_ (”)Å 
    Raggedy

  24. Posted by Lene | May 31, 2007, 5:45 am

    LOVE that list! I want to go to your house for dinner! ;)

  25. Posted by Samantha & Tigger | May 31, 2007, 6:14 am

    Very nice TT. You can tell you cook a lot. Thanks for the info. Happy TTing.

  26. Posted by This Week’s Thursday Thirteens You Need to Check out *InsParenting.com* Newsletter, Blog and Articles | May 31, 2007, 8:12 am

    [...] seemed to be able to read my mind. Her TT list is the kind of reminder I need. I’ve been so clumsy lately in the [...]

  27. Posted by Adwina - Mom of 1 | May 31, 2007, 8:14 am

    I love your list so much that I put it in a special blog about TT along with 2 other TT-ers.

    Hope you like it.

  28. Posted by Jess | May 31, 2007, 8:48 am

    I particularly like #10 :) I learned that one the hard way and nearly singed my eyebrows off! Yikes! Great list, as always!!

  29. Posted by Anastacia | May 31, 2007, 9:56 am

    Great list! I’m not much of a chef - but I laughed at some of things you wrote about. I esp. like the watched pot one. That’s why I cover my pots!

    My tt is up - please come visit me at http://www.anastaciaknits.blogspot.com

  30. Posted by Chris | May 31, 2007, 12:36 pm

    Great list! My TT is up @ http://emeraldcityguy.wordpress.com/2007/05/31/thursday-thirteen-the-last-13-movies-ive-rented/

  31. Posted by mitchypoo | May 31, 2007, 1:23 pm

    This is a great list. #10 made me lol. So true! My TT is up!

    http://mitchypoo777.blogspot.com

  32. Posted by Mark Caldwell | May 31, 2007, 1:39 pm

    Sharp objects deserve your respect - I’d like to add that this is especially true during thunderstorms. I’ve a scar on one of my fingers from not having that advice from anyone …

  33. Posted by Faerylandmom | May 31, 2007, 3:50 pm

    This is THE best T13 I’ve read in awhile. I loved it, and thank you for the tips…I enjoy cooking, but learning by trial & error is not my thing. Therefore, all things I can learn by reading/watching is very very good.

  34. Posted by Jessica The Rock Chick | May 31, 2007, 4:58 pm

    Wow! GREAT TT!!! I do believe I might have learned all of those lessons in the kitchen at one time or another. I don’t cook anymore since I also learned that the digital clock on the oven spells out the word FIRE when there is indeed a fire inside. Since then, my hubby has taken over the cooking in order to save the house and well, probably his life, too. I’m a pretty bad cook and he does have to eat once in a while!!

    Happy TT and Happy Chefing!!!

    Jessica The Rock Chick

  35. Posted by RittyRats | June 1, 2007, 8:29 am

    Heehee, very funny Thirteen! Love the comments about the “first aid bill.” So true, so true. I should make my daughter read this…she might actually understand the “saute” concept after reading!
    Thanks for sharing the funnies.

  36. Posted by Adwina - Mom of 1 | June 4, 2007, 12:27 am

    Oh hi Jerry…thanks for stopping by to my blog. I’m sorry for the ‘mistake’ I made.

    ;-)

    Won’t happen again.

    Have a nice Monday!

  37. Posted by chicken enchiladas | June 4, 2007, 2:08 am

    Thank you for this blog very insitefull please post more like this!

  38. Posted by Carol | June 4, 2007, 9:39 am

    Great list! I really enjoyed reading your T13. I can see why Beth chose you to be a featured T13 this week. Amen to not buying inferior kitchenware. It’s never worth it.

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