Thursday Thirteen #9 – Thirteen things about Giada
By Jerry • Jun 27th, 2007 • Category: Blog Events
 |
Thirteen Things I can’t stand about Giada DeLaurentisGiada has become one of the next generations of Food Network royalty, though to be honest I can’t tell you why. At first I thought perhaps I was just missing something that the rest of the world saw in her, but in time I realized exactly why I had a problem watching her. What follows are 13 of those observations, in no particular order.
- There’s an old rule that states “Never trust a skinny chef.” – Ummmm, nuff said. Bulimia is not attractive. The only other skinny cook on FoodTV is Sandra Lee, and I think “Aunt Sandy” needs to be sent back to cooking school, with her coctail ingredients safely packed away somewhere else. (Or simply be stoned out of the studio. Perhaps we should just put them both in a room with Tony Bourdain and Mario Batali for a few hours. That should solve the problem.)
- Is Giada human, or an animatronic bobblehead? (One theory suggests she’s a time-traveling chef from the distant future.)
- Her makeup costs more per episode than the house she rents for three months out of the year. (I wonder where the family that lives there goes for those three months?)
- If I hear “…it adds that perfect little crunch…” (with emphasis on making sure that the “ch” in crunch sounds a lot more like “sh”) One… More… Friggin’… Time… I’m going to hurl.
- I can’t stand the fact that she compares absolutely everything she tastes to Italian food! Today’s case in point, prosciutto wrapped carrots with basil. It sounded good to me until she called them “Italian Spring Rolls”. Whoops! Lost interest. Then of course there was the chicken fried steak incident… I can’t finish, it’s too painful
- I really don’t care how well endowed Giada or her wardrobe people think she is. I absolutely don’t think it’s necessary to forcefully have her cleavage displayed in each and every closeup.
- Is there a reason that the only time Giada has any trace of an Italian accent it’s when she uses Italian Cooking Terms (i.e. Spaghetti, mozzarella, pancetta and oregano. Funny thing is, she doesn’t have any accent at all when she says Parmesan…) It’s just annoying, Does anyone honestly expect us to believe that the only traces of her accent that aren’t strictly 90210 have to do with food?!?
- She never has anything but a perfect manicure. What happens if she nicks a nail with one of her vast array of different (hence unfamiliar) knives, which we must assume are all razor sharp? Do they stop production while she runs down and has a new fill done?
- Her description of food flavors seems to have come out of a book written by a Klingon chef. I use Italian parsley regularly, but I’ve never found it to be “lemony” in the slightest. And why is every cheese she loves “buttery” or “buttery and salty”? Don’t the Italians produce a cheese that’s cheesy? I mean really, God forbid she use a California cheese and not compare it to something from Sicily.
- That absolutely plastic smile of hers bears great resemblance to the Barbie doll at the end of Toy Story II. (…”Are they gone? Are they all gone? Okay. Can I stop smiling now? Oh good, my face hurts… I think I need to take a break!”…)
- “Crust” is not the proper description for the surface of every food ever made.
- I don’t know about you,but I can’t believe something is “the best thing” she’s ever tasted on every episode. you’d think sooner or later that one or two things would be “nearly the best” thing she’s ever tasted.
- I’ve read that she comes across as “down to earth” and “grounded”, but for my money she comes across as though she feel she is at least slightly more important than the people around her. I though I was going to scream when I heard her tell JAG (a contestant on the current Food Network Star) that if he had any demons left over from serving in the Marine Corps, he needed to face them! I’m sorry, I haven’t seen Giada’s psychotherapy degree. I also haven’t seen any active duty discharge papers. If you haven’t been there, you cannot possibly understand, and the comment was out of line.
If you’re a Giada fan, I’m sure you’re not too happy with me right now, but these are only my opinions. You are free to watch Ms. DeLaurntis on the Food Network if you choose. As for my wife and myself, we just switch to Fine Living or HGTV for the space of her show.Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
- Leave your comments and you’ll automagically add you to the “Thank you” list. Thanks to Nancy for pointing out the plugin to me!
|
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Jerry is the epitome of cooking without a plan. As a matter of fact, he secretly wishes he could participate in an Iron Chef America episode, simply because it is one place where he wouldn't feel at all out of place. Not knowing the ingredients beforehand doesn't make him nervous at all. Of course, the reality is that he'd probably lose and look entirely foolish, but hey, it would still be fun!
Email this author | All posts by Jerry
I have no idea who Giada is (we have so many cooks on TV over here that we don’t get a lot of imports). Until I read your post I thought Giada was the name of one of the monsters in the Toho monster films probably appearing in Godzilla v Giada. Given your description this might be true.
I’ve never heard of Giada DeLaurentis. Happy TT.
You’re list reminds me of the blinding fury and hatred I feel towards Rachael Ray. If I hear, “E.V.O.O – Extra Virgin Olive Oil,” One. More. Time. If she’s going to say ‘Extra Virgin Olive Oil’ after every time she says ‘E.V.O.O’, then why bother? Sorry if you’re a fan. ;)
I don’t watch Food Network~ but totally with you on the skinny chef part!
I haven’t watched Food Network since before I had kids, but I wouldn’t automatically rule out a skinny chef. I get lots of compliments on my cooking and I’m on the petite side. A lot of that is good genes, some is getting regular exercise, and some is watching portion sizes. Everything in moderation. I make a cheesecake that is to die for, but I reserve it for special occasions and I don’t pig out on it even then.
Giada Has issues being from the family she is from and will never be grounded. I really think the only reason Food Network has her on is the cleavage.
I’ve watched Giada once. Once.
I like Duff better.
Happy TT!
Think there might be a connection between the cocktail ingredients and the CRUNSHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?
Can’t say that I’ve watched her show, not having cable and all, but I’ll be sure to miss it after your description. But it is really annoying to see her on just about every cookbook cover stores are displaying anymore.
Hee! When I read your post title, I immediately thought, “Tits & Teeth.” I’ll admit Giada’s grown on me a bit, but her muppet smile and ever-present cleavage is very distracting.
I have tried a few of her recipes, but have yet to have her zest for it all! Glad to see I am not alone….
My TT was not
oops…. didn’t get to finish
My TT was not nearly as enthusiastic!
I like her, but to each his own. Not everything is for everyone. I do want to say that I’ve read, and I’m not an authority, that she grew up speaknig Italian, with her family, so I would expect her to use Italian words with an Italian accent.
I’m with you on the crunchy thing.
Oh and Anthony Bourdain is an excellent author, but he comes across as a self-important horses hind end.
I have yet to watch an episode from her show. Good thing I haven’t come across her yet. LOL!
Happy Thursday dear!
HAHAHAHA! Another great list.. and yet another reminder how I want to start doing this. Ugh!
Okay so the Giada thing.. it really is unfortunate that you brought up this subject as I could write 14 pages on my thoughts about Ms. De Laurentiis. I know, I need a life.
I have mixed feelings – but only because of what I’ve heard about her – as I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her in person. I hear that in “real life” she’s very charming, hard working and a joy to be around. I want to believe that – I mean she certainly is pleasant enough on her show. And yep, it’s a show I usually catch every day at 1:30 when I come home for lunch & let the dogs out.. I love her food. It’s that simple. Well not all of it, but most of it. And if I hadn’t already learned after shelling out the money on her first cookbook, that 99.9% of the recipes can be looked at for FREE on foodtv.com, I’d most likely buy her new pasta book (but yeah.. you can get most if not all the recipes on foodtv.com)..
With that said.. I’m about 110% positive that if I were caught on video watching her show during my lunch hour, it’d win the top prize on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Because although I’m very interested in what she’s cooking, you’ll find that I can not make eye contact with her TV image.. I focus on her hands and what she’s got on the chopping board and/or stove. Her giant head frightens me, as well as that mouth, which I firmly believe could swallow an infant – whole. As for her mammories, I do not find them spectacular in any way – and I find it completely disrespectful to women in general that she and her producers feel the need to add so much “sex appeal” to a cooking show. A cooking show that is aired at all times of the day. Her toothy grimmace is not a smile, it looks painful.
And please do not get me started on how she pronounces some food items. Spee-gitti! Modza-relllllla, peen-chit-ta UGH. It’s at those times, I feel the video of me watching her show would be most entertaining as I spasm and seize each time she “Italianizes” words – and you are spot on correct about how it’s only food items that she adds the accent to. Talk about “wanna-be Italian” c’mon. I can’t believe her mother isn’t a lil embarrassed each time she does it.
I also can not stand how she refers to Italians in general as “we” As if she is Italian and not American-Italian. There’s a difference. I am American-Italian and damn proud of it. I’m also American-Irish and equally damn proud of it. But you will not EVER hear me refer to part of my heritage as “we”.. unless I were to say, “we as Americans” God.
And finally, my last gripe isn’t so much about her, but her producers again.. it grates on my nerves how they have her handle her food as if it’s a live newborn.. so gentle and with such care, each and every sliver of onion is most assuredly going to hit that smoking hot oil in the most gentle way so as not to bruise it before it’s sauteed to death. At least I am assuming this is her producers asking her to handle the food so it looks “even better” – I’d hate to think that as a chef, she’s really that slow and careful when handling her food. I’d imagine that it would take a month to cook for 30 people when being so precise about the way she picks up her head of garlic. Or maybe you’re right – maybe she’s just being careful not to mess up her perfect manicure? That explanation works for me too. =)
I told you I could go on and on about her. And I’m sure after reading my rant that many will think that I’m an ass because I DO watch her almost every day and I DO enjoy her food.. am I jealous? Hell yes I am. She’s got a show! I do not! But that’s where the jealousy starts and ends.
Okay I should end this as I think my comment is already longer than your post. *sorry* But I shall leave you with my most favorite photo of the beautiful Giada – it brings me shear delight to look at this photo. Oh! And this is even better!!
OMG I knew I rambled but I didn’t think it was going to be THAT LONG!! Ugh.. am so sorry! hahahahahaaaaaa!!! Since you moderate, please don’t feel you have to publish that. hahaaaa! Holy crap, maybe I should lay off the coffee in the morning, eh? =)
xoxo
WOW.. Love cooking shows and great blog but with this TT I need to go delete mine. Let’s hear it for COFFEE!!!!
Thank GOD someone else noticed this stuff about her. I laughed when I read your list because I TOTALLY agree! The fake smile really, really gets old. She’s such a fake! Now Ina Garten, there’s a good cook!
Bon Apetite!
Great list… I don’t despise Giada, but she’s not my favorite either. She is way way too thin to be taken seriously! Happy TT
Gawd she is annoying isn’t she? Skinny and manicured and make-up-ed. Glad someone else agrees.
I think I may have just fallen in love with you because of this post.
I can’t stand her either…and I hate that people love her. UGH! As a chef myself, I hate that her nails are always perfect too-not only is that a sign that she doesn’t really cook, but also that she’s not concerned with sanitation codes!
And also, I saw that episode just yesterday with the “Italian Spring Rolls” and I hated that she said it too.
This was a most excellent post. 8) Happy TT…
I don’t have cable, so I’ve never watched this show. But I feel like getting a pretty good picture of this chef from your comments.
Also, I just scrolled down and read your TT about Julia Child’s quotes. I love Julia Child.
Happy TT!
A FRICKIN’ MEN! I am so glad to hear that I’m not the only one who feels the same way about Giada. And the bit about the manicure, Truly a FABULOUS POINT! I scream and bi%$ch when ever I snag one with one of the blades is my arsenal, so what is up with that? I do have to concur about all the points in question. YEAH FOR YOU MR. SEAT OF YOUR PANTS.
I have to admit I like Rachel Ray, mostly ’cause she IS grounded. But ‘nuff said…
Whew, I am glad I am not the only one who can’t stand her. I am getting more and mroe disappointed in FoodNetwork. What is up with the cleavage? I want to watch professionals not stripper wanna be’s!
I am with Courtney I am no longer a Rachael Ray fan. I liked her when she was in her humble years now she is too much. Her morning talk show makes her to appear to be on crack cocaine. Slooooow down Rachael or you are going to spontaneous combust.
Lisa’s comment was awesome too! :o)
Yep, Paula Deen and Duff the crazy cake decorator/artist are two of my faves.
Wonderful list! You are the best. You truly made my day.
Wow, this is a crazy post you have going on here! Well maybe not the post but the comments afterwards, I think you hit on a very popular subject that is big on the internet right now – Giada HATE. She has gone from being the cook everyone loves, to now the butt of ridicule. I think what has happened from an objective standpoint is that her sex appeal has become very blantant and used so heavily on the show that it has become distracting for people, even those like myself, who tend to rather like her. I won’t comment further on her physical attributes as people cannot help what they look like, but I do agree that they can keep some of their physical attributes to themselves – like cleavage.
But there are two things I absolutely agree with. Number one, I don’t know how she can cook with those nails. I cook for a living and there is no way I could do it with manicured nails – they would be ruined in seconds. However, I am sure that Giada has enough money to get them fixed on a daily basis. So it is probably not as big a deal for her. And secondly, I was also appalled by the way she spoke to JAG on the show. I have seen a side of her on that show that is not very flattering. I find her a bit scary and domineering – and un-forgiving. Not attractive for her.
I do have to say a bit about the Italian accented food words. I am Italian American as well – and I learned how to say certain words, from infancy with the Italian accent – that is just the way I learned to say those words. I do not have any Italian accent with any word that is English – because it is English – but there are certain words that I say that are Italianized and I have tried over the years to Anglicize them because I have heard these kinds of comments before and I don’t want anyone talking about me that way, or thinking I am snobby just because I learned to say a word the way it is actually pronounced.
Great post though Jerry, it has defiantely gotten the attention of your readership! :)
Thank you. A thousand of them, in fact. Bobble Head! Bah-hahahahahaha. She drives me completely bonkers to the extent that I don’t believe I have ever watched a complete show with her in it. I guess it’s just her presence everywhere. Magazines, especially. YUCK. Okay. I feel better now. Really.
[...] and the cleevage who acts like she can cook. Â Check out Jerry’s well executed tirade at Cooking By the Seat of My Pants. I think he’s my [...]
Is it just me, or has anyone else ever noticed how every sound in her show is amplified like 1000 times?! Slicing through an onion should not sound like a spear flying past your head.
Oh, and one more thing, PUT SOME FREAKING CLOTHES ON WOMAN!!!!!! Or maybe they don’t make a sweater that smells like “mazzarellia” cheese.
I’ve gotten more annoyed with her also. She seems to try TOO hard to seem like she’s got so much passion and excitement for her food. Case in point, look at her chefography episode when she looked as bored as hell. He weird hand gestures (HATE the one where she curls her fingers to describe “crunchy” or “crispy”) and plastered smile seem very fake to me. And I agree she seems to act more special than those around her. I also hated the arrogant/holier than thou attitude she had when guest hosting on the Next Food Network Star.
She’s probably embarrassed at the shots of her being such a bad, unsmiling, uninspiring, boring, angry host in her early shows that she seeems to way overdo the happy, exciting, passion chef thing with her stupid fake smile and annoying hand gestures. Hope one of her boobs fall out one of her low-cut shirts while cooking one day and she flashes the crew :)
I just wish the food net work would wake up and smell the coffee. I can not believe any one would take this bobble head for real. I like the writer just flip the channel during her show and turn it back to food network after the fake is over.
I am happy to read that others have noticed how “phony” Giada looks while cooking. Her smile makes me shutter; and her cleavage so unnecessary. The Barefoot Contessa is a pleasure to watch and she has a natural and wonderful smile, and her food is easy to make and delicious.
The Network should really look at Giada objectively, and they will come to the same conclusion.
Oh, one more thing! I saw her on one episode of the next Food Network Star and I thought she looked so unattractive and most of all her comments to the person beng interviewed were downright rude and unnecessary. I am surprised that the Network did not cut that out.
I actually like Giada for the most part. For one, she is not that skinny. Honestly. Boobs, which she has for sure (and the producers certainly let us know it) are just big fat sacks. And she has some pretty large thighs as well. I’m NOT saying she’s fat, but she’s definitely not “skinny”, and I don’t think she’s bullimic. You make it seem like she’s a twig. She has a healthy body type. Is it so wrong for a chef not to be obese?
I will agree with you on the obnxious pronunciation of Italian words though. Pin-chet-thuh, spagugugugugugughetti, ricot-thuh… ridiculous. It’s even more annyoing that each time she uses these pronunciations she repeats the word about fifteen times.
I think she is genuinely a happy person though. It isn’t her fault that she has a big smile. She was born that way… If you’re going to make fun of a chef, you should put more emphasis on their behavior and skill rather than their looks. Of course, some image criticism is ok in moderation.
Haha. I just heard her say,”Gnocchi are like Italian dumplings.” I won’t dispute the fact that she likes comparisons.
i agree everything that was said about giada the only reason i watch her show is because her tops are really cute come on ladies you have to agree. her recipes are good too i have cooked a couple of her recipes and they werent too bad and dont get me started on rachel rey that woman needs boobs big time.
I had to laugh, too, cos I couldn’t agree MORE with your post. BUT you forgot to add how she describes every fricking thing she makes as CREAMY!!!!!!!! That makes me want to scream! And every move she makes is “perfect.” I actually think she has gotten progressively worse and more annoying than she was in her early days, and can you say BREAST ENHANCEMENT? Case in point…I just saw her on a show from 2004, and #1 her tits weren’t hanging out #2 they weren’t THAT big….I seriously think she had them done when her head got even bigger over the years (is that even possible? haha)….add me to the list of people who can barely stomach the site of her anymore (don’t get me started on Rachael Ray)!!!! haha…
It pains me to watch her chop things. I feel like she is going to cut her finger off any minute.
I am so glad I am not the only one out there that finds Giada very distasteful ! That fake smile, and yes, her BIG head !
I agree with you that I think the only reason she stays on the air is her willingness to expose herself ! Do we really need to see her boobs when she cooks ?
I also agree that she is mean to the Next Food Network Star contestants. While she has the luxury of editing her show, she is extremely critical of trained chefs when they make the slightest mistake.
She seems very self absorbed, self important and extremely fake.
I searched for a website to send my comments to herself or her producers. They should hear from us. But conveniently there doesn’t seem to be an avenue to do so.
Thank heavens I am not by myself in most of the items you listed as being irritating, not to mention phony. She is a baubble head doll and how can someone that petite have such a HUGE mouth….and that whole italian accent only on certain foods….my favories is, on several shows, I’ve seen her in the middle of stirring ingredients, look at the camera, flash that big smile, then back to stirring! ??? Ina Garten is the BEST TV chef/personality on the FN. She seems so relaxed and calm, not rushed at all….she is the most “real” woman on the FN. Everyone else seems so rushed (as much as I love him, Tyler seems the MOST rushed) but Ina is consistently……well, consistent. I feel I am seeing the real Ina when I watch her show and I like that.
She’s the most annoying food network star I’ve ever seen. She comes across a total phony. I loathe her show as much as I love Barefoot Contessa.
And has anyone else noticed she uses the phrase “just like that” an average of 6 times per episode??? So irritating. The way she describes what she is doing as she is doing it should be left to things requiring explanation instead of: fill the cup with water…wash my hands…
But the way she pronounced words ending in ch is the worst. I can’t tell if she has a speech impediment from her Stonehenge teeth or what…chunsh. Just like that. As annoying as barefoot contessa “turning up the volume” on everything she cooks, and I love her, but she says it like twice an episode – and always with a thumbs up gesture.