I’ve been holding myself back on this post for a while now.  It’s likely that there are a lot of people who won’t agree with what I’m about to say, and may in fact disagree violently with my opinion on this topic.  Unfortunately I find that I can no longer restrain myself in this case.  This is something that has gone unchecked for far too long and it needs to be reigned in before the epidemic spreads even further than it has already.

To all you restaurant chefs, television executives, magazine and newspaper food writers and others in a position to make a difference, please,

Enough it with the trendy foods already!

First it was California Cuisine, then it was the kiwi.  Following that was the mango and of course the demise of curly-leaf parsley in many of America’s kitchens. Now it’s foams, gels, sous-vide and an emphasis on pairing new and unusual spice combinations with classic ingredients. (Just how many different chocolate sauces does one really need?)

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with these foods, nor is there anything wrong with wanting to try new methods or combinations. This is the nature of food. Risks must be taken, new methods tried and new flavor combinations explored.  It keeps the palate fresh and opens the mind to new possibilities. But it should not. EVER. Be used as an excuse to relegate perfectly good foods or ingredients to the “passe” file of the public conciousness.

I ask you, what exactly is wrong with a salad made with iceburg lettuce? Is there something wrong with the last 10 years worth of crop? Why is it that chefs worldwide simply removed this from their menus? I doubt it was because none of their clientelle would have ordered it.  More likely it was the result of one or two overly pompous and self riteous chefs that felt that they knew better than their customers did what should be served to them.

The same fate has befallen many dishes that used to be featured on nearly every restaurant menu in the country.  Lemon Pepper Chicken, once a mainstay on menus from the lowest family chain to the most celebrated gourmet establishment, has simply fallen off the radar.  It’s not served anywhere.  I have seen chefs on television complain that “nobody serves this anymore, and no one should.”

Is there a reason for this attitude?  What is it about this dish has earned the scorn of the professional chef? Perhaps it’s the million bad knock-offs and cheap seasoning blends available on the market today.  Perhaps it’s because now that a million home cooks can make a truly decent version,t here is no more reason for a chef to attempt to make it well?  Nobody can explain why this dish has gone the way of the dodo, but I tell you one thing, I wouldn’t mind having a little of it right now.

The fruit of the moment trend has to stop as well. For the past two years the world has been assailed with mango.  Mango salsa, mango chutnet, mango sauces and mango desserts.  The world has sung its praises for so long tht it, too is becoming passe.  soon I feel that it will dissapear from resturant menus just as surely as kiwi did in the 80’s or apple based desserts did in the late 70’s.  Why? Because these trend-powered monsters have overloaded us with them for so long tht nobody wants to look at them any more!  Had we just cooked them with some restraint, they could have been a permenant mainstay of the American diet, but they will not be.  They have already been replaced by the fig and the pear.  Which one of those fruits will win the battle as the next fruit of the moment is yet to be seen, but it’s coming.

While we’re at it, quit downplaying curly leaf parsley!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this herb.  It’s been a staple in kitchens for as long as anyone can remember, but suddenly not only cooks, but food stylists are calling this perfectly good herb “tired”, “old hat” or “blase”. While it is true that flat leaf parsley has a more pronounced flavor, it can be difficult to find in some places and where it’s difficult to find, it will also be a lot more expensive than its curly leafed counterpart.  Why in the world would you pay twice as much for an herb when using just a bit more of the cheaper variety will get you the same amount of flavor? To be honest, I use curly leaf more often myself because it has a longer shelf life, which stretches my money even further.

let me wrap this up by saying this:

Stop letting someone in a trendy restaurant determine the future of American cuisine.  They don’t know ny better than your grandmother what is or is not good.  Some things don’t need to be changed or updated and good recipes and great food should not be forgotten just because they are “common”. It’s time that we as foodies (and food snobs) put our voices to work and let the powers that be know that what we really want is food that is  prepared well, from good ingredients, with passion.

But don’t put a salmon mousse on my plate.  I’ll stick with the actual fish, please.

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2008. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Food Snob Chronicles, Food Snobbery, Trends, trendy food

I’ve been planning on unleashing some serious ranting on at least a few topics, but the week has been hectic at best.  In the interim, I have a wonderful suggestion for any of you who would like to know the finer points of food snobbery. The Food Snob’s Dictionary: An Essential Lexicon of Gastronomical Knowledge isjust the tool you need to help jump start your career as a  food snob.  It’s packed with all those tiny tidbits of knowledge that you’ll need to truly impress and bore the company you keep at dinner parties and buffets.

You really shouldn’t pass up this opportunity to help me out with my Christmas Spending get your hands on a tome of knowledge like this one. It is truly a lexicon of utterly useless and completely boorish useful and interesting information that your friends will want to rip your tongue out and serve it with fava beans love you for sharing with them. You’ll definitely be the one everybody is talking about!

The official Amazon Description:

Product Description
Food Snob n: reference term for the sort of food obsessive for whom the actual joy of eating and cooking is but a side dish to the accumulation of arcane knowledge about these subjects

From the author of The United States of Arugula–and coauthor of The Film Snob’s Dictionary and The Rock Snob’s Dictionary–a delectable compendium of food facts, terminology, and famous names that gives ordinary folk the wherewithal to take down the Food Snobs–or join their zealous ranks.

Open a menu and there they are, those confusing references to “grass-fed” beef, “farmstead” blue cheese, and “dry-farmed” fruits. It doesn’t help that your dinner companions have moved on to such heady topics as the future of the organic movement, or the seminal culinary contributions of Elizabeth Drew and Fernand Point. David Kamp, who demystified the worlds of rock and film for grateful readers, explains it all and more, in The Food Snobs Dictionary.

Both entertaining and authentically informative, The Food Snob’s Dictionary travels through the alphabet explaining the buzz-terms that fuel the food-obsessed, from “Affinage” to “Zest,” with stops along the way for “Cardoons,” “Fennel Pollen,” and “Sous-Vide,” all served up with a huge and welcome dollop of wit.

About the Author

DAVID KAMP is a writer and editor for Vanity Fair and GQ, and the author of The United States of Arugula, The Film Snob’s Dictionary, and The Rock Snob’s Dictionary. He lives in New York City. MARION ROSENFELD, a writer and producer, has spent her entire career in media, much of it food related. She lives in New York City. ROSS MacDONALD’s illustrations have appeared in many magazines, from The New Yorker to The Wall Street Journal. He illustrated The Film Snob’s Dictionary and The Rock Snob’s Dictionary.

So rush out and grab yourself a copy of The Food Snob’s Dictionary: An Essential Lexicon of Gastronomical Knowledge, you’ll be glad you did!

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2008. | Permalink | One comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Food Snob Chronicles, Food Snobbery, Humor

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud (and a little frightened) to announce that this week heralds the return of my dark, food snobbish self.  I’ve left the food snob locked in a closet since July 2007.  To say he’s been itching to get out and lay down a thorough tongue lashing on more than on topic would be an aggregious understatement at best.

Since his release from captivity he’s been camped out on our sofa eating bagettes and brie with my best bottle of cabernet and watching Food Network and Fine Living.  The occasional snort and expletive can be heard on a regular basis, as can mad scribbling noises on the screen of his smartphone.  In fact, the only time I’ve not heard something derogatory coming from his all-too-cultured mouth has been while watching Anthony Bourdain, Ina Garton or PBS cooking shows on Saturday Morning.  This looks like it’s going to prove to be interesting.

For those who haven’t read the Food Snob Chronicles, just click here and go check ‘em out.

And for the record, no, that’s not me in the photos.  The model’s name is (as far as I can tell) Yanc from Canada, and he’s been the official face of The Food Snob Chronicles since day one.  He’ll remain the face of the series until it ends.

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2008. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Food Snobbery, The Food Snob Chronicles

I can’t help it, it makes me crazy. It doesn’t really matter who prepared the dish, be it myself, a friend, a chef, or a restaurant line-cook. It really doesn’t, I still get aggravated and the food snob in me wants to shout at the top of my lungs:

“HEY! Would you like some FOOD with that?”

But I digress. Please allow me to climb up on my soap-box and elucidate.

I know you’ve seen it, everyone has. You’ve worked your lil’ tush off in the kitchen, you’ve seasoned, flavored and tasted your dish until there is simply no way to make it any better, it’s perfect. Plates are served and you glance around the table, waiting to see if your masterpiece is appreciated by your guests as much as you hope it will be, awaiting that one-of-a-kind experience that comes from serving wonderful food to wonderful people and knowing that they’ve enjoyed it.

Then it happens.

One person in the group reaches for the salt, pepper, steak sauce, ketchup, cheese or other accompaniment and buries your carefully prepared meal under enough of their chosen condiment as to render the original flavor unrecognizable. They haven’t tasted your dish, nor will they ever, as it is now covered in enough of something else to be merely a supporting flavor to their addition, not the dish that you so lovingly assembled for them.

This particular variety of rudeness is simply unacceptable in my opinion.

(...)
Read the rest of The Food Snob Chronicles Volume 3: Would you like some food with that? (676 words)

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2007. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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I hate to admit it, but the snob in me reared his ugly head again this week. It wasn’t pretty, and even though I’m the only person that heard the conversation, it still embarrassed me a bit to know that I was even thinking the way I was.

It began innocently enough. I was going over the list of ingredients sent in by Jess, the first of the Your Pantry or Mine, participants and trying to decide which I was going to use when I realized I’d actually huffed.

“Huffed”?

Yeah, you know that noise you make when you blow air through your nose in exasperation. The noise you would expect the snobbiest faux French waiter to make if you have the horrible sense to request ketchup for your haricots verts, or worse, suggested that you’d rather have a domestic wine with your meal.

Yep, that’s the sound, and it came out of me!

So what caused this tiny fit of obnoxious behavior, you ask? Since these chronicles are as much a soul searching experience as they are (hopefully) kind of humorous, I’ll tell you.

Canned Green Beans.

(...)
Read the rest of The Food Snob Chronicles Volume 2: You’re not going to eat that are you? (639 words)

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2007. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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It happened just the other day. My wife and I were enjoying a pleasant evening conversation on our balcony, going over our respective days, as most couples do if the opportunity presents itself. (And if the baby will let you!) In the midst of all of this idle chatter, I mentioned something about this blog and in response I was greeted with a statement that nearly knocked me off my chair.

After I’d made whatever comment it was (and I honestly don’t remember, it was all very innocent), my wife looked at me with those incredible blue-green eyes of hers and a slight smirk and said:

“One of my students mentioned your blog today.”

She had my attention, It’s always nice to know someone’s talking about what you’re doing.

“Oh?”

I said, with every attempt at not trying like the devil to make her speak a bit more quickly. (she’s Texan, I’m a native Californian, she talks a lot slower than I’m used to)

“Yes, but I’m not sure I should say any more.”

She said in that tone she gets that lets me know that she is definitely going to say more, but I’m gonna’ have to ask to hear it, and I’m probably not gonna’ like it much.

“You started this, so dish.”

I said, most likely with a smirk, though I’m not really sure at this point.

And with a theatrically perfect “I’m really sorry I’m the one who has to break this to you” attitude, she looked over at me and said:

“He said he’d like your blog a lot more if you weren’t such a food snob.”

Ouch!

(...)
Read the rest of The Food Snob Chronicles Volume 1: How to tell you’ve become a P.I.T.A. (995 words)

© Jerry D. Russell and Cooking... by the seat of my Pants!.com, 2007. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
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