If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, especially over the last summer, you’ve probably gotten the impression that I have a low opinion of gas grills.  You would be incorrect.  I love gas grills, I simply refuse to call them “barbecues”, because they are not, and cannot be used to properly barbecue anything.

Rather, I consider gas grills to be the ultimate in outdoor cooktops.  They’re perfect for a quick grill job or for sauteing onions in my favorite stainless steel skillet.  They are wonderful for getting a good sear on a piece of meat, or cranking out great grilled desserts, especially in situations where the taste or smell of wood smoke would detract from the overall experience. In a nutshell, they are an integral part of any well stocked outdoor kitchen, I just have no intention of actually barbecuing anything in one.  For that I’ve got my smoker grill, and that, ladies and gents, is WOOD powered.

There are those gas grills that are simply more than drool-worthy.  For my money those come with names like Napoleon Grills.  If you’ve been considering getting a top-end outdoor grill or just need some grill parts, iBuyBarbeques.com may just be the place you want to check out for your next purchase. The prices may seem high at first glance, but trust me peeps, you’re not gonna get these monsters at the local BigScaryMegaMart.  These are quality outdoor toys.

The same people that bring you these barbecue grills and Napoleon Grills is also running a contest that could net you up to $400.00! (Just click the link at the beginning of this paragraph for details).  Will I be netering?  No.  Nothing I’ve made this year would translate easily to a non-smoke environment.  I suppose I could modify my brisket recipe to work with a much smaller brisket, but then I would have become a hypocrite, since the only way I’ll eat brisket is corned and boiled or smoked. (No sauce, please!)

Check out the contest, win yourself a few duckets, and put a hefty down payment on a great gas grill.  Or hey, use the money for the Holidays.  but if you entered because of this post, let me know, would you!  I’d love to see if you got the prize or not.

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Vegetarians avert your eyes.  Have your children leave the room, you don’t want them to see this.  For you it won’t be pretty.  However, for those of us who are dedicated omnivores (or in Dr. Biggles case, card carrying carnivores), it’s a dream on a bun, and I had to share it with the world at large.

Please excuse the fact that this really isn’t a recipe.  It’s more of a field assembly guide for the ultimate in meat based sandwiches. There will be no fluff, no cheese, no greens or sprouts.  Only bell peppers (or jalapeños, if you’re so inclined) are worthy of this carnivorous delight.

This sandwich was three days in the making. Was it worth it?  I think so.  Hopefully you will as well, but the only way you’ll ever know is if you try it for yourself.

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I’m dedicating this post to Lydia of the Perfect Pantry, who requested brisket the last time I did barbecue, and every expatriate Texan out there, including of course the lovely Lisa from the Homesick Texan. I wish you could have been here to enjoy with us!

4:45am:

The food blogger rouses himself from a quiet and peaceful slumber and staggers to the coffee maker. He realizes he had planned to wake at 5:30, so the infernal machine hasn’t started brewing yet. He punches the start button and plops down at his desk to check the night’s emails until brewing is done.

4:50am:

The food blogger is roused from a quick nap by the beeping of the coffee maker. It seems he has fallen asleep at the keyboard again. One cup of high octane sludge later, he is ready to proceed with the day as planned.

5:10am:

The blogger pours himself another cup, adds a bit of sugar (which he had forgotten on the first round but had been too tired to correct) and inspects the contents of his refrigerator. Inside he finds a 3.4 pound pork butt roast and a 2.8 pound brisket which have been resting happily throughout the night after their evening massage in BBQ spice rub. they look content and are moved to the stove top to come to room temperature while the food blogger continues.

5:25am:

The food blogger lights a small pile of briquettes in the fire box of his combination smoker/grill and makes sure that the mesquite wood chips are nearby, opened and present in sufficient quantity. With the fire happily started, the food blogger enjoys the sounds of pre-dawn morning while sipping happily on the remnants of his second cup of coffee.

6:00am:

With the coals now colored a lovely gray and glowing warmly in the smoker box, the food blogger gets down to business. A few quick photos of the ingredients are snapped, another cup of coffee is poured and the dog is let out on his tether. (can’t control his schedule, he needed to go). The blogger, the coffee and the two marinated pieces of USDA choice head outside to begin their long, slow day.

6:05am:

The meat is placed on the grill as far away from the fire box as possible, a probe thermometer is laid on the grate next to the meat to ensure that the grill’s built-in analog thermometer isn’t lying and the lid is closed, not to be opened for somewhere around four hours.

Mesquite chips are added to the charcoal for smoke, first some smaller pieces then, once those have caught fire, a few hand-sized chunks get plopped on. The fire box door is closed and the vents on the smoker are set to half-open. The food blogger wanders back ito the house to see about other projects for a bit.

6:30am:

The food blogger turned pit-master checks the temperature in the smoker box and inspects the fire. unsatisfied with the amount of smoke present, he adds a few more pieces of mesquite to the fire box. with the smoker box temperature hovering between 150 degrees and 200 degrees Fahrenheit, the food blogger retreats to a 20 minute timed run at Resident Evil 4, which is still kicking his buttocks.

O.K., Enough with the campy Play-By-Play!

(O.K. O.K…. I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry!)

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As promised, my smoker was up and running well before sunrise this morning. As I write this, 2.8 pounds of beef brisket and 3.4 pounds of Boston Butt Pork roast are transforming from “just meat” to barbecue.
(Sorry Biggles, I know Meathenge labs doesn’t consider any cut of animal to be “just meat”)

The first step in any real Texas Barbecue is the dry rub. I know that Northerners sometimes prefer a wet method and that’s just fine with me, but around here that ain’t barbecue, and we’re doing this Texas style.

This is a new rub for me. It was adapted from Jim Goode’s Beef Rub because to be honest if I’m going to try a new rub, I’m going to base it on the rub used by Houston’s #1 Pit man. The modifications made were due either to my inability to read at 4:45 am or the lack of a specific spice in my pantry.

So here we go kiddies! Step One for honest-to-Texas barbecue…

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I call these ribs “Texoma style” simply because I happen to live in Texoma. For those who care to know, Texoma is defined as follows:

Texoma generally refers to the region bordering the Red River that runs between north Texas and southern Oklahoma. The area is centered on Lake Texoma, an artificial lake of 89,000 acres (360 km²) located approximately 70 miles (100 km) north of Dallas. Much of the area’s economic viability and marketability is centered around the recreational activities that the lake provides, with 5+ million visitors annually.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texoma

Now that the geography lesson is out of the way, let’s get to the food.

Just quickly, I want to dedicate this entry to Biggles of MeatHenge, here’s to ya Dr.!

Barbecue is a religion in this part of the world. For the most part, Texas is famous for beef barbecue, but pulled pork and pork ribs are nothing to sneeze at either, especially when you get them as cheaply as I got these. Texas Barbecue is about smoke and flavor, not an overwhelming lot of sauce, as in Kansas City style barbecue, and these ribs were made in that tradition.

I nearly didn’t finish these. Right in the middle of smoking, the sky opened up and dumped record amounts of rain on our little town, rendering my particular smoker absolutely useless at maintaining a temperature, so the ribs were finished in a 220 degree oven, instead of in their natural habitat. Anyway, they were still great!

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Mmmmm, Barbecued Pulled Pork Sammiches. Just typing the words gets me all teary-eyed and makes my heart palpitate a little. And to think, it all came about because of a terrible kitchen mishap!

Sometimes even the most horrific kitchen disasters can be recovered from. At least I like to tell myself that they can, and in this case at least, it worked.

The other night I decided to try using our tabletop oven to cook up a pork blade roast. The idea was that the little oven would use less power, since the roast nearly filled it to capacity and I wouldn’t have to heat a large volume of air. It’s also a convection unit, and should have cooked the roast in less time than our regular ol’ apartment oven.

Yeah, whatever! After three hours (a full hour longer than it would have taken in our regular oven), the roast still wasn’t done. In fact, it wasn’t even close. Apparently the oven manufacturer and I differ on the meaning of 350°.

I set the timer for another hour and laid on the couch to watch some TV…

And fell fast asleep.

My wife tried to wake me up, but to be quite honest, I’d had a few beers while I waited for the bloody roast to finish, and the combination of a pretty stressful day with Mr. Seat of his Diaper and a few Shiner Bock’s on an empty stomach, I was history.

I was apparently just awake enough to tell her to leave the roast right where it was. Being the wonderful person she is, she listened to me and didn’t disturb the still undercooked roast…

And I found it right there in the oven when I got up at 5:00 AM.

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